Break. Literally.

Well, I guess the question has been answered. I do not know the difference between determination and denial.

Well, that's how that worked out. I somehow managed to make it through the week, training and all. Had a great time at the cooking class...

The cooking class... let me quickly say that it was awesome! Matthew and Omar did an amazing job creating a menu and it all went wonderfully! There were a few last minute drop outs and a few e-mails that made me MAD! One person e-mailed me at 4:00 the day of the class (I didn't get it till the next day) saying that he heard from his friend that I still expected them (he and his wife) to pay even though they were sick. He didn't think that was fair. Well, guess what guy, it's not fair to the other 15 people for you to both drop out,not bother to even call, just e-mail. Whatever. I decided I wasn't going to let the money part ruin my night. And it didn't. Fun times. I would do it again in a second, I would just organize it differently. So back to the training disaster... I'm having an ADHD post. Ok, so in pain all week, but taking some drugs, figure it's fine. Went on a nearly 5 hour ride on Tuesday and met Steph, Claudia and Mel in Durnstein, it was awesome. We had a great day, the ride was beautiful. We had a bit of an interesting train ride back, had to beg, borrow and steal in order to get out bikes on the train and barely avoided a 65 Euro fine for buying the right ticket, but for the wrong number of people, I think the train guy was just having a bad day. Anyways, to the ER part of the story... I went for an open water swim on Thursday after work. Midway through the swim I was coughing like crazy and stopped for a second, probably about 150 meters from the shore and realized I was coughing up blood. Not a good sign. I was a little freaked out, but managed to make it to shore pretty easily, nothing really hurt more than it had and the water was really smooth. So I get to shore, call my school nurse, and long story short, realized that I needed to go to the ER. I HATE that place. I still have nightmares about the bloody gurneys that we saw when I had to go my first year in Vienna, poor Steve, it was the middle of the night, we had only been dating a few months and he had to deal with me like that... Anyways, Steve didn't answer his phone and Steph had just texted me, so I called her, burst into tears (which really hurt) and told her I had to go to the ER. She was able to meet me on the U6 on the way to the ER, yes, you just take yourself to the ER via public transportation. I was crying and crying, not because I was scared, or because I was in a lot more pain, it was just the mere thought of having to spend time in the ER. It is SO awful. I can't even explain that place. So, when we get there and finally get to the right ER, I had no money or ID, so Steph had to pay my deposit and then run to my house and get my wallet and a change of clothes. Steve was on his way, but hadn't arrived yet. By the time he got there I was on the phone to my mom, who was at work, crying and crying. There was a lot of tests and waiting around, 6+ hours. It was absolutely miserable. At the end of it all, it was probably 12:00ish, I had broken ribs and a tear/hole in my lung. How it didn't collapse, no one seems to know. They told me I had to come back in two days, I asked if it was really important if I came in two days and could I just come on Monday, the dr. asked why and I said because I was flying to Sofia for the weekend. He got very animated and started saying Nicht flying! Nicht flying! And, then using hand gestures, started repeating over and over again that apparently my lungs could collapse with the change of pressure... oh, so no Sofia. I got the paperwork to leave and Steve went back to ask them if I could train at all. Nope. Nicht training. I was just so upset. Everything was upsetting. I was starving, tired, just found out I had broken ribs and a little tear in my lungs. Nothing positive about that. I was pretty sure they wouldn't think it was a good idea to do my race on May 20, in St. Polten. So, I chose not to ask. I went back Saturday morning and found out that the tear was healing fine, could do limited training, it was just about pain tolerance. But, she said it really wouldn't be a good idea to do the race in a few weeks. Which is just SO upsetting to me. I have to keep telling myself that the St. Polten half was just to prepare for the real thing in July. But, it just annoys me. The whole thing. I just don't have time for an injury. And, I am sick of being in pain. It's like there is a level of constant pain and then every now and then sharp pains. Fun. It was interesting to have a whole Saturday to do whatever I wanted with no training. I did some shopping, hung out with Mel, went to the Prater for a bit and then up to Kent's for a Kentucky Derby party. I guess that is what it's like to not be training. It makes me a bit crazy to not train. Since they said I was allowed limited training, I did get up this morning and go on a short 45 minute run. It hurt, but no problems breathing, so that was good. I am just sick of the pain though. Today I have just been relaxing, cooking, cleaning and trying to organize myself for my Mom's visit. I can't wait for her to get here! I am pretty disappointed that I didn't get to go to Sofia, I was watching Anika and Steph's posts, sounds like it was a pretty crazy weekend. I can't wait to hear all about it! I hope the ribs heal faster than four weeks, I just want to get back to training normal.