The grass is always greener...

When I left Dubai at the end of the last school year I knew I'd be going back to visit and when I was there in July/August I knew I'd be coming back for Thanksgiving. Leaving this time, I realized, this could be it, the last time I ever see this place. It made my unbelievably sad. I arrived back to Vienna this morning after an amazing weekend in Dubai. I saw my friends, spent lots of time in the sun, ran around Safa, ate some Carrot Cake at Lime Tree and basically tried to do as many of my favorite things as I could fit in. What I realized, and in a lot of ways I already knew, was that Dubai is a great place, but what made it a great place to me was the people. It felt so great, seeing my friends and having easy conversations and being able to talk about every and anything! Ordering food in English with no pointing and broken German felt like the most rewarding experience ever! Last year when I was in Dubai and looking for a new job, the goal was to get to Europe and now that I'm here, all I want is that Dubai life back.

Professionally I am much happier in Vienna, but the day to day life can be so frustrating! I really need to learn German, not being able to communicate with people makes me feel rude, stupid and annoyed most of the time. I wanted to move here and become part of the community, but it feels like such a closed group of people that seems nearly impossible to break into. Even when I do meet Viennese people that speak English (as a second language) I end up having to work so hard to get my point across, or watching what I say to try to make it clear what I mean, and little to no jokes or sarcasm that it hardly seems worth it to even try. So, while you meet people that might be really great, you can't really tell because so much is just lost in translation. I don't mean it to sound like I'm miserable or anything, because I'm not at all, it's just really hard. I think I keep forgetting that I've only been here four months.

The other weekend was great. Friday afternoon I met some friends at a wine tasting event, followed by shots at the Mexican place by my house. Saturday I went on a two hour run in the Prater, lunch at the Naschmarkt, shopping and then girl's night at a friend's place. Sunday was a great hike with a couple of Viennese guys and then an art gallery opening. Sounds fun? Well, in a lot of ways it was. Well, except for the part that I was completely under dressed (in hiking clothes) and couldn't actually talk to anyone because everyone was speaking German... but there was free wine. The next work week was short, which I loved and the night before I left for Dubai we went to a Christmas market (surprising) and then an Italian dinner, it was great! I couldn't be bothered to pack, so I just decided to do it the next morning before I left. Which would have worked out better had I remembered to put the washer hose into the sink to drain instead of leaving it out to flood the whole bathroom. I was running around like a crazy person trying to take care of the disaster. I did, obviously, make my flight. That's just one of the little things I haven't been able to figure out yet. I need to go to the hardware store and buy some sort of connector thing that connects the washer hose to the wall. I'll take care of that when I replace the upside down moving box with a proper end table. Which will be right after I get around to figuring out how my oven works... really? This is how I live?

It's just so funny, right now it seems like everyone is just kind of holding back a little and trying to figure out life. Some friends are considering their different options for work next year, others are thinking about having kids, or not having kids and everyone seems to be freaking out about money. It was so nice to just sit back around friends I'm super comfortable with and just sort of say, life's not what I expected it to be. We all should be happy, but are we? I used to look at people that were married, or had a house, or a job they loved or .... something else... and think, oh, they must be happy! But, when I look at my life it seems like I should just be thrilled because of all the fun things I get to do or all the traveling, the thing is, it's not that I'm particularly unhappy, I just wonder sometimes if this is it? Or, is there something more? Am I missing something?

There are TONS of really fun things coming up. A friend from Dubai arrives tonight for the week, my mom comes on Friday, another friend is coming for Christmas and my sister and Eric have booked their tickets for February too. I also found a run in Vienna on December 31st, so that should be fun. I'm also really looking forward to April's Montenegro trip and summer in Cape Town. And then day to day life... the Christmas markets are great, the city is beautiful right now, we have a few fun work parties set up and soon we'll be on break. I can't believe it's almost 2010, that always seemed like a lifetime away!